We are two sisters-friends-survivors-overcomers. We grew up in a terribly typical American suburb, just outside a major US city, which allowed us to be exposed to people/places that were culturally rich and varied. We are, and were encouraged to be, avid readers and to study and uncover the many mysteries of life; we are both partial to history, especially autobiographies. So, it’s both surprising, and not so surprising that we would come to the point when we would want to do some autobiographical writing of our own.
We’re writing because we’re interested in learning, sharing, comforting (ourselves and others) as we come to understand our own experiences. But we also want to exchange ideas and hear fresh perspectives on the myriad topics that we will address: family, physical and mental health, parents, humor, sadness, children, relationships, work, life choices, and more.
Our mother is a difficult woman (there, we said it), and, yes, she has nearly driven us insane through extreme negativity, insult, and accusation. She has not been an encourager as we grew (and continue to grow), and seems to be actively trying to alienate herself from her daughters. As adults, we sisters have begun sharing our stories and questions about our individual experiences with Mom. That led to a lot of sister-therapy and self-exploration, which led to acceptance of our reality, which led us to adjust our expectations for relationship with Mom, which led us to find the humor in the insanity, which led us to do everything we can to avoid repeating Mom’s mistakes with our own children, which led us here. Our hope is that we can continue to examine our lives and find new understandings, and that we can be a help to anyone else who has a toxic family member. We were very lucky to have a father who was instrumental in protecting us and giving us space to grow as normally as possible; therefore, we remember him with gratitude, for teaching us how important it is to encourage others, to have an appreciation for life, for people, and for those things that add joy to life.
We have not walked in our mother’s shoes, so we are not in a position to judge her. Our blog is about encouragement not judgment. About discovery, not condemnation. About sharing, not hiding in silence. Share your stories with us as well. Join us as we take this journey.
Lynne and Jennifer